lost again.....

how i wish dat time could passes by....huhu......

so many things stuck on my head........arguing with myself is not advisable!! leh jd gile!!!!!!!! when i was so determined to do on my way.....my decision.....on my risk etc......god still not on my side...ade jek pekare2 yg halang...tho it's not sesuatu perkare yg bagus....n dose rasenye.....it;s a bit dissapointing...i know i should redha with things happened around me...tp buat aku jd bkn aku.......dear Allah....help me to get trough all this....

jgn jdkan aku hambaMu yg kufur ya Allah.......yg dehake.....yg sesat......nauzubillah.....

i made stupid decision...studpid mistakes.....oh..stupid me.......tp ke face it juge at d end...

rite now......i'm doing things dat i hv no passion in it.....juz to satisfy others......

suck !!!

stlh skian lame...

last i checked my post was on 4th oct....agak lame la kan..berbandeng sblmnye yg agak rajen mengupdate blog....so...saje nak update..

kucar kacer dlm idop tatkale allah nak uji hambanye.....aku yg lemah lagek hine.....mampu beserah smoge allah kuatkan aku....aku seda ujian neh dtg sbb diri aku gak...

aku br saje mmbuat kputusan mmbiarkan satu subjek fail....so..i have to repeat that subjek nxt semester.....i told emak bout my situation....hope she'll understand....i haven't receive any respond frm her....dats frightening me d most.....

abah.....lgsg xtau wut had happened....about company...about those people yg biadap n sdkt lahanat....n of coz about me......after d tragedy happened onto him......we try to reserves as much as we can....

kesakitan perot menjd2.....last thursday i went for my med check up.....borak ngan doc....nape aku dpt doc pompuan lak......byk doc laki yg comey....sgt hampe pd ktk itu...btw....doc tny..wheter my life ade involve ngan any stressful situation or not.....of coz......i'm in deep stress rite now......byk symptom stress menular....hair loss.....stomach ache.....stiffness on my shoulder n neck.....lagek hape eh.....dsb.....kdg2...time bwk keter...i lost my direction....can't focus where i was heading to.....bhy neh....aku mati xpe...jgn keter abah aku rosak..ssh die nnt...

pemikiran mengenai beliau pon x dpt dielakkan........

last sunday...actually started on dat thursday...way before.....since jumpe beliau kembali...agak sukar menjalani kehidupan spt biase.....hopefully he lives his life in a way he wishes for......xnk tny beliau lebey2...takot jd laen....but..lynkan prasaan jek ngan lagu2 colbie caillat yg br...i nvr told u.....n begin again.....huh....slhke aku dok memikirkan beliau....sungguh pathetic hambamu ini ya allah.....

this saturday...ade xm...dunno wheter i should attend yg satu tuh...da la aku x anto 1 asgm pon...so...wut for kan..fail gak......my brother will hunts me down all my life onwards.....kate2 yg kua dr mulut mrk...sgt pedey.....tp yg sorg tuh x penah phm....bcoz he was born with higher IQ than we both were.....he's d smartest.....he's d hope of d family....he's d sunlight....he's always "right".....

i read an article from a mag...aku lupe mag ape...mase tuh kat clinic ke mane ntah.....about how hard we wants to focus on sumthing if we have problem n distracted by major things....yet minor to sum people....different person living a different path......i'm d one dat still confuse wit things stuck in her head........

mengapekah...........

ohhhh....
mngapekah......byk esaimen x siap..need to be completed within 2 weeks.....mampos!!!!! tuh la...mase senggang...byk time....xnk buat...padan muke anda wahai hani......

skarang.....brla tau langet tinggi rendah

adey....

last 2 weeks x silap aku.....berterime kaseh pd cik sarah krn berjaye tlg aku mendeletekan sume msg2 beliau yg x sepatutnye....tepon tuh pon bangang...patutnye nak dlete pon x perlu la view msg tuh..delete jek la teros kannnnn....xde la perlu aku sshkan org laen.....

then..last few days...x hengat ari ape....tepon aku lak men gile...tepon ramai org temasok la bliau...hampeh jek...perluke????

lalu aku amek keputusan...delete his number permenantly....habeh cite...otak aku pon x serabut tgk name die bile browse nak cr number org..tenampak name die ade skali......saket hati rsnyeeeeee.......oh mengape jd begini wahai hani.....

sungguh miserable idop anda...pandai jek nasehat org...dri sdiri pon hampeh....at least....i should give a compliment to myself....sbb x buat mende yg rather jauh lebey bodow.....maseh waras utk bertindak......maseh sygkan diri ini........ iaitu......berserah dan kembali kpd Allah....sume ats kehendakNya......klu kte xmampu trime ujian yg diberi pon..haruslah kembali kpdNya.....

mudah2an kte memperoleh keberkatan dlm idop....