rindu.,...

woaaaa.....lame tdk memblog dri....sgt sibuk hingge xde mase utk diri sdiri...

wutd happened to my social life..???? erk...perkare yg harus ditelan setlh bekerje......

my education life..???? "hanging intention"..huhu...still bergelut dgn kompius nye lagek..aduyai..

lately...i dont know y...but seems getting so far away from Allah...astaghfirullah....knape hani jd camneh...?

maybe neh la sbb nye byk masalah aku yg xleh slesai2 lagek neh...........Allah nak uji aku.....smoge aku tabah n dipermudahkan ujian ini....

still on my he-tox mode.....ssh betol la......almost a year....tp xleh nak lpskan...wuts wrong wit me????? i should give myself a dateline instead!! br ar ade objektive dlm idop....mengapekah..oh mengapekah.......

lonely..alone...loner...

mmg x kesah idop single...wut to rush...? bknnye sok akunak kawen...tp kdg2 terdetik gak utk bermanje...euuwwww.....haha......ade skali tuh..trase sgt lonely bile nak kua..but no one was there for me....sume sebok..either wit family or their syg's...huhu....ade skali tuh jgak...lebey sadis rsnye...tatkale aku tbe sorg2 jek kat table tuh yg xde teman berckp.... "the couple" tgh berckp dgn satu same laen...d boys bedue tuh plak berborak sesame diorg...aku??? was left alone.......nxt time....i will not allow myself to be in that situation again...

kne cr sesuatu yg boleh dilakukan sdiri jgak ar....xleh rely kat org...kne biasekan diri idop bujang...nak harapkan kwn2 pon xleh.....diorg adekehidupan sdiri..sampai bile ko nak sesakkan diorg ngan merepek ko tuh hani?????

tp.......maseh trase ketidak adilan pd dri ini...mengape tegar nye ko !!! huikkkh.......tensiii!!!!

catitan..hukhuk

uwaaa......keje keje keje....

itulah idop aku skang.....i made my decision...i chose my path....deal with it hani... terganggu rencana n kehidupan sosialku...oh tdk....daku tua sblm waktuku......hukhuk.....

idop dikelilingi lelaki...tp xde sorg pon yg leh blah..hansem pon prangai cam aremmmmm.....

xpe hani...Allah lebey mengetahui susun jalur idopmu.....

listen to ur heart!!!

kesibukan attacked!!!

suda spt org gile kini....time tdo beterabor.....mkn xtentu...letey....

mase blaja dulu pon xde ar sebok camneh...naseb pendtg baru la kan....da la bukan line aku pon...was shoecked at first bile introduce diri jek most people asked...."amek engineering ke dolu?"....make diri tertny2..apekah yg akan ditempuhi mendtg ini....

totally out of my league!!hahaha....crashed dlm pale otak neh..sume kene sedut within in short period of time....smoge dpt la kulakukan sume ini dgn baek.....

things has changed....me n d environment.....huwaaa.......

tp kan....save minyak keter....umah dkt jek...30 hengget leh tahan hampir seminggu...depends pd pecutan ar kan....br la kumengerti keindahan rumah dkt ngan tempt keje...byk leh save...

tp gaji dpt sket jek dis month..sbb masok tgh bulan...aiyak...saketnye.....utang byk lagek neh.....bband harus dibyr...dsbnye....mujur tinggal umah family...

tp sampi bile nak pama payung...hani da bsr kan....u should be on ur on feet rite now.....sigh.....

smoge allah menjawab sgale persoalanku dan rintihan ku...ya allah...istajib dua' ana......

jauh...caramel

Pernah ada,
rasa cinta,
antara kita,
kini tinggal kenangan.

  Ingin ku lupakan,
  semua tentang diri mu,
  namun bayang mu,
  s’lalu ada dalam setiap, langkah ku.

Jauh kau pergi meninggalkan diri ku,
disini aku, merindukan diri mu.
Kini ku coba mencari pengganti mu,
namun tak lagi,
‘kan seperti diri mu oh kekasih.

i should accept d fate by now........i should stop seeing him by now........

tp xleh selfish.....kwn2 aku...kwn2 die......or maybe....i should stop seeing sume org......

but dats not me...xleh idop tanpe diorg.....d worst....xleh idop tanpe beliau...which ....i suppose not to think about.....

hani boleh!!!!!

bla bla bla

crack here n there!!! sigh.....

wish i could go back time...alalalalalalala....

alhamdulillah...abah smaken sehat...tp xleh keje berat sgt tho....akan ttp...apekan daye juge...da name nye org senior...sume nak buat sdiri....cume mampu mendoakan kesihatan abah jek....

torrent of stupid things dok bemaen dlm otak neh.......i dunno y my tears streaming jek turun mase tuh.....n lucky jeedah was there 4 me...juz her ears enough to make me feel at ease....tp cite yg sbenanye....xleh nak aku kuakan jugak...even to anyone...hny pd Allah aku beserah...sum said it was bcoz of c bunguks itu...akan ttp tdk yea.....not everything in my related ngan c bunguks.....

tp agak saket sjak mule berbaek ngan die...not in "deep rship" la....juz kwn2 jek....trase ade yg missing...whether i still mad at him...or still hate him.....aku neh manusie biase jek kan....

sigh.......mengeluh jek keje aku....spt tdk tau besyukur dgn nkmat yg ade.......tmbhkan ibadah wahai hani!!!!

lost again.....

how i wish dat time could passes by....huhu......

so many things stuck on my head........arguing with myself is not advisable!! leh jd gile!!!!!!!! when i was so determined to do on my way.....my decision.....on my risk etc......god still not on my side...ade jek pekare2 yg halang...tho it's not sesuatu perkare yg bagus....n dose rasenye.....it;s a bit dissapointing...i know i should redha with things happened around me...tp buat aku jd bkn aku.......dear Allah....help me to get trough all this....

jgn jdkan aku hambaMu yg kufur ya Allah.......yg dehake.....yg sesat......nauzubillah.....

i made stupid decision...studpid mistakes.....oh..stupid me.......tp ke face it juge at d end...

rite now......i'm doing things dat i hv no passion in it.....juz to satisfy others......

suck !!!

stlh skian lame...

last i checked my post was on 4th oct....agak lame la kan..berbandeng sblmnye yg agak rajen mengupdate blog....so...saje nak update..

kucar kacer dlm idop tatkale allah nak uji hambanye.....aku yg lemah lagek hine.....mampu beserah smoge allah kuatkan aku....aku seda ujian neh dtg sbb diri aku gak...

aku br saje mmbuat kputusan mmbiarkan satu subjek fail....so..i have to repeat that subjek nxt semester.....i told emak bout my situation....hope she'll understand....i haven't receive any respond frm her....dats frightening me d most.....

abah.....lgsg xtau wut had happened....about company...about those people yg biadap n sdkt lahanat....n of coz about me......after d tragedy happened onto him......we try to reserves as much as we can....

kesakitan perot menjd2.....last thursday i went for my med check up.....borak ngan doc....nape aku dpt doc pompuan lak......byk doc laki yg comey....sgt hampe pd ktk itu...btw....doc tny..wheter my life ade involve ngan any stressful situation or not.....of coz......i'm in deep stress rite now......byk symptom stress menular....hair loss.....stomach ache.....stiffness on my shoulder n neck.....lagek hape eh.....dsb.....kdg2...time bwk keter...i lost my direction....can't focus where i was heading to.....bhy neh....aku mati xpe...jgn keter abah aku rosak..ssh die nnt...

pemikiran mengenai beliau pon x dpt dielakkan........

last sunday...actually started on dat thursday...way before.....since jumpe beliau kembali...agak sukar menjalani kehidupan spt biase.....hopefully he lives his life in a way he wishes for......xnk tny beliau lebey2...takot jd laen....but..lynkan prasaan jek ngan lagu2 colbie caillat yg br...i nvr told u.....n begin again.....huh....slhke aku dok memikirkan beliau....sungguh pathetic hambamu ini ya allah.....

this saturday...ade xm...dunno wheter i should attend yg satu tuh...da la aku x anto 1 asgm pon...so...wut for kan..fail gak......my brother will hunts me down all my life onwards.....kate2 yg kua dr mulut mrk...sgt pedey.....tp yg sorg tuh x penah phm....bcoz he was born with higher IQ than we both were.....he's d smartest.....he's d hope of d family....he's d sunlight....he's always "right".....

i read an article from a mag...aku lupe mag ape...mase tuh kat clinic ke mane ntah.....about how hard we wants to focus on sumthing if we have problem n distracted by major things....yet minor to sum people....different person living a different path......i'm d one dat still confuse wit things stuck in her head........

mengapekah...........