kekesalan yg menyesal

okeh....sbenanye nak buat pembetulan keadaan sket...rase regret pon ade..sbb buat post sblm neh...hmmm...i was too carried away.....emosi x stabil ngan keadaan sekelling sy skang....

lack of sleep...lack of rest...lack of motivation......

lack of iman....

nauzubillah......nak marah jek hati neh lately...jealous x bertempat lak tuh....pointless kan???hmmm....i think i should seek professional advise le...huk....psychological la...bukan krn gile...

tp kan...sebenanye...Islam dah bg cara....in any situation...kembali pd Nya...insyaAllah berjaye (dgn nada adam) ...amek wudhu' etc....istighfar......solat sunat 2 rakaat......u did once...so u can do it over n over again hani...yes I can!!!!

o ye.....silly me...i miss d "attention"....gelis...hahah....aku insan biase....

define friends....pelis...

saat2 jiwe kacau neh kan...mende2 kecik pon leh jadek besar rasenye..hati sy rapuh...sy mudah jeles...JELES??? bkn kat bf okeh...i dun have any bf pon....

tp jeles kat bff....wutdaaa....hmm...beliau pernah trase hati bile sy baek dgn ex beliau..sbb kami mmg kwn dah lame..then bile r/ship diorg dah ok..of coz la die x kesah kan bile aku baek ngan bf die..but now they broke up again..n this time for real punyo...dun think they ever get back again...for sum reason yg hampeh....n i dun entertain her ex anymore...xmo shbt trase hati buat kali kedue..

yg buat sy jiwe kacau x smene2...bagaimane beliau boley sgtla rapat ngan ex sy...why????????sy tau mereke bershbt...tetapi....n nape sy ade rase mereke akan ke jinjang pelamin..this is not impossible to happen la kan...jodoh d tgn Tuhan.,....i dun feel a thing towards that man anymore...i'm so over him...cume situasi ini...sy x brape boley trime....

hmmm...abaikan jek la...sy xnk pk lagek lps bgn esok pg...

psl jodoh....nape sy asyik bertgemu ngan org yg 2 taun lebey tua dr sy...?uh....ahah....tuh pon leh jiwe kacau...ntah pape ntah...byk lagek jiwe kacau neh...tp xleh nak mention...how i longing to have sumone that i can share with....haha...jiwe kacau lagek.....tp xmo kawen....nak share2 story jek...ade tak...ade tak???

off!

jem n roti

huargh,.....bersiaran pule dr kampung halaman ibunda.....sbb aku xde kampung kan..tumpang ayahanda n bonda jek la...lame x blk perak...windu....windu lagek bile kenangkan zaman mase kecik2..mase arwah opah ade....besttttttttt

mase nak blk kg..gile jem x hengat...ngan ragam manusie yg panas2 hati lagek..xde nye nak bersopan santun kat jln raye dah..dlm hati maseng2 nak lanyak jek semua keter yg ade depan diorg......dasat2!! scary! takot pisang berbuah 3 kali.....trauma lame x ilang lagek...bile nak break dgn keter depan..sgt menakutkan...dgn muatan keter yg sgt berat lak tuh...momentum lebey la kan...

so nak jdkan story mory...betolak kol 12.30 tghari dr rumah...heading to ipoh..nak ziarah longjaja kat umah ayahanda beliau...sbb maseh berpantang..rindu baby khaira..sampai ipoh...hampir kol 5ptg....mane x gile aku jadinye...plak tuh..bawak keter bayan (mujur ade keter die...sbb keter abah belom 100% elok)....manual okeh....i dun mind bawak keter manual...masalahnye bile jem...mcm nak tercabut setiap urat kat kaki aku tuh.....sakeeettt...tp  x sampai hati nak pass baton kat abah....tgk letey jek kat wajah tua die...hmm....xpelah abah...anakmu mengerti...dgn lapar yg amat sgt..sbb bawak bekal roti jek pon...bajet 3 jam sampai ipoh....

sudahnye...lps solat asar and makan kat umah alang tuh..kami pon bertolak le ke seri iskandar...syukur..jln x jem..kalau jem gak...mmg aku bayar tow truck utk towing kitorg...gegegegege....bile stress kan..mcm2 kepale neh berpk...

last week...sy jumpe seorg insan yg sgt berhati mulia...x sangke masih ade manusie mcm neh kat muke bumi Allah....syukur....Alhamdulillah..Allah ketemukan kami dgn insan kamil ini....dlm kekalutan kami...dlm kesempitan kami....dlm kesesakan kami...n dlm kesedihan kami...insan ini sgt memahami...membuka ruang utk kami bernafas n mempertimbangkan semula gerak langkah kami.....menitis air mate aku bile mendgr kate2nye di corong telefon apabile memberi kami kelonggaran dlm membuat keputusan...kesempatan utk kami bangun semula....syukur ya Allah...Kau kirimkan kami insan ini semasa insan laen yg bertunjangkan nafsu n keinginan syaitan menyelebungi diri mereke....menganiaya idop kami dan mase depan kami...sesungguhnye Allah maha mengetahui...maha adil....smoge Allah mengadili kami dgn maha KebijaksanaanMu ya Allah....

smoge Allah merahmati insan mulia ini......bukakanlah pintu rezeki seluasnye buat beliau ya Allah...jauhkanlah kejahatan dr nye ya Allah...kurniakanlah kesihatan yg baek ke atasnye ya Allah....amin....

hot hot hot

last week..everywhere kat ceruk mane pon dlm opis neh kecoh psl penilaian prestasi done recently (but d management had postponed d date..for i-forgot-how-many-times)...lucky i wasn't involve...juz dgr2 n lihat2 ape yg berlaku...observe...n evaluate ape yg jd kat sekeliling.....

manusie...benarkah akan berlaku adil sesame manusie tanpe ade prasaan hasad, benci, iri hati, dendam n kesumat mengiringi setiap keputusan yg di ambil??krn ade kuase..sekaligus boley boley mempengaruhi bawahannye utk menilai insan bawahannye pule....do they really made d observation by all rounder...or by their naked eyes??

insan2 yg dinilai....betulke slh ape yg telah pihak penilai menilai..?hv u given d best?n u nvr done anything wrong??or they get emotional bile evaluation result kluar....sbb maybe they gave d best they can...xpenah ngular...xpenah "tai chi"...x penah itu..x penah ini....heheh...


ape yg sy lihat..ade yg trase ati etc....is it d system ke hape eh??poning betol...leh menganggugugat ketenteraman hubungan manusie ngan manusie yg laen.....

ape yg sy rase...penilai n pemarkahan yg di buat neh ade beberape kemungkinan pd akibatnye...

1. markah tinggi (scenario 1)- yes u did very well with excellent!u'd given ur best..n it shows....n yes u deserve it!

2. markah tinggi (scenario 2) - u did well..but not at ur best..u completed ur task, but not as good as ur boss want..sumtimes u don't even hv any task to do...but becoz u have d most minimum errors occurred..so d high mark given by ur boss is to motivates u to do better...

3. markah tinggi (scenario 3) - anda pandai bermaen wayang!!!ewah2.... hebat dlm tai chi..haiyak!! even tho u r half looser...still u r a smart person!!

4. markah trendah (scenario 1) - u r a total garbage!! ok....not that far... some people maybe don't hv any motivational momentum utk nak inject diri diorg...so tak sgt memberangsangkan hasil kerje...delayed...undone...asyik nak tai chi kerje(x reti nak maen wayang)...

5. markah rendah (scenario 2) - u did ur best..u manage to tackle n handle any problem n u took risk for that...akan tetapi..jeng jeng jeng.........u r just a victim of discrimination!! sorry to say but ur boss hated u!!huhu....ksian ar kalau part neh...pity...but wut can i say more...berdoa la smoge Allah beri ptunjuk kat pemangse camneh....

smoge sy diadili ngan keadilan yg sepatutnye sy terime....amin...

newsfeed...verbally

wow..kinda shocked as i entered opis ari senin lps....mcm2 new spread out kat cni...latest...psl migration insan2 cni ke region laen...woowww...seems like everyone is leaving...sbenanye sket jek...but since bunyik die cam ramai kan...trase sungguh kehilangan...

bile diorg nak anto aku migrate lak?hahah...suke suki jek manusie yg ade kuase neh kan...sng2 jek nak anta org sane cni...welcome to d real world hani! u juz seen not even half of it yet.....huh......jauhkan sy dr kesusahan ya Allah

oh manusie...as usual...jiwe merundum lagek...oh...donia....begitu byk dogaanmu...do u hv to be this cruel to me??yyyy????jgn sampai sy kuciwe yg amat sgt....nnt jd laen plak...nauzubiilah...

last sunday ..telah memasang unifi d rumah....laju...compared to before...d speed could reach to 4.9 Mb for downloading...huh...nyaman tatkale buat on9 streaming....camne la kalau pakai 20Mb kan..sure superb!! sabo je la ..nak baut camne..naseb le jadi anak tiri TM...slame setaun stgh hempas pulas utk psg infra bagai...gado ngan contractor...vendor....merase jgak ape yg diusehekan slame neh..wahaha...uh...gelak kejam!!xde la gado  camne pon...seganas2 aku...i don't like arguments...discussion is better...hahah..buat blood pressure naek jek la....

well....about office pulok...ade sesi berbalas email yg sgt sy x senangi...childish!!absurd matters yg berbangket...sedeynye...yg buat tuh..n then cc tuh d big boss was a person who is highly respected by colleagues...juz bcoz that person is a super senior here...is that mean d person is totally right in every decision n action..duh....i guess it's sumkind of pre-menopausal syndrome...opps....nauzubillah....

ish...layankan jek la......uh....i still have stiff shoulder on my right...so in pain....found out that it liaise wit stress...whatdaaaa..hahah..need sumthing to motivates myself!!

pembukaan tahun baru

nebes jap ape yg jd..trauma jap pon ade..dah lame x kene...last skali eksiden mase beberape taun sudah..dek krn penunggang motosikal yg separe bongok...sape soh pakai helmet mase ats jln raye??? menonong jek bawak..alih2 cium keter abah aku...kene seret dek tersangkut kat bumper blakang...bahagian tepi..dat was very traumatized gak..nyawe org kan...

so nak jd cite...last weekend..went to malacca...sbb bawak abah ade ceramah umrah utk jemaah d melaka.....on d way back...dah sampai mrr2 ...lepas sket dr zoo...hmm....keter depan..white swift...dr awal lagek da pasan...suke betol die men break...alih2 buat emergency break...aku pon..sehabes boleh le breaknye..alhamdulillah..dpt elak....x kene keter die....then aku tgk cermin blkg...nampak jelas keter yg datang...dlm hati doa...jgn la kene...tp instinct kate laen...

Allah maha mengetahui...keter dr blakang...white myvi dtg hentam....luckily...d momentum wasn't hard....so d impact pon minor....tp sian mamat tuh...obviously shown on his face betape terkejutnye die...n he started shaking...cam parkinson pon ade...i was in his shoes before....tau le camne rase nye...so we better tak keruhkan lagek keadaan...

see....minor jek kan.....seb baek claim org blakang punye insurance..

so..moral of d story....kalau jumpe keter depan yg sewel suke men break...shift lane....biar lambat asal selamat@!! n jgn lupe byk doa ...smoge Allah lindungi kite dr musibah...

week yg weak

heard about a colleague and also a friend who got an offer for a job at other company...sad but happy for him...pray for his best and grateful for his luck...and also a few others who received interview calls...hopefully soon is for me to shine....

prasan jek..mencari pon malaz....bukannye malaz ape...condition aku neh laen sket...grad laen..kojenye laen...try and error jek la....who knows....tuah ayam nampak di kaki...tuah manusie pd hang tuah...wawawawaaa..lame excuses.... :P

huwahhh....kwn2 nak engage n getting married this sgt ramai..i need to start saving for them skang...for transportation and present la kan...leh x kalau aku hadiahkan doa jek..janji ikhlas kan..ngeee.... :D

yday bawak abah utk his medical checkup...gov hospital..sungguh sedey...kakitangan die mmg nak kene tgn2kan..maybe diorg dah immune sgt kot...lagek pon prangai manusie yg dtg tuh pon ade gak yg mcm nak kene tgnkan...

another 6 weeks akan dpt result...mudah2an abah will be fine...insyaAllah....