choices...

when we r facing choices that has to be made....erk..susah rasenye....pilihan2 yg diperngaruhi oleh unsur2 sekeliling..ibu bapa...adik bradik..dan org laen...

nak2 plak bile keputusan tuh mak bapak kite yg soh pilih......org kate..better follow jek..sbb kat situ la keberkatannye...n kat situ la rezeki....

tp aku sedey gile...nape org laen lak cube downkan aku...okeh...hani...lap air mate dulu.....

sucks entry!

kucar kacir otak aku dah..

not a good entry this time..i must say....

to make a decision...ones must sacrifice things...

sy hilang 'beliau' krn cite2 sy..yg akhirnye x habes pon...krn tuntutan kerje....perbezaan taraf katenye...hmm...baeklah..sy akur....sy percaye qada' n qadar Allah...ini bermakna jodoh kami kekal sbg sahabat...alhamdulillah..better than be a rival...

but now.....

Allah uji sy lagek dgn situasi yg hampir same...juz when i'm about to make another life's decision...hajat hendak menyambung cite2 lame....tatkale spt ade peluangnye...hmmm....sy dipertemukan pule ngan beliau yg mahukan sy memenuhi cite2nye....ya Allah.....wpon mase depan kami belum tentu.....terase berat nak buat keputusan spt neh...dgn kekangan mase utk ku berikan jwpn kpd keduenye......

okeh..entry ini sgt sucks!

jodoh...lagik.... :P

okeh..not to story bout my jodoh sbenanye......psl org sekeliling sy.....since i'm in adult world...jodoh..relationship..marriage....seems to be topic utame everywhere i go...huh..lumrah alam agaknye...huuuu

sympathy...empathy...sad..pity....ngan yg dah berusie...30+....yg maseh tercari2 jodohnye....what went wrong???kembali kpd Maha Pencipta la seharusnya...tp ade yg mmg x cari n x kesah pon..(like me..myself)....things n matters yg can not be forced by anyone....is it necessary to?hmmm....mmg la kene berusehe...tp bagaimane...well...google it....ade jek kat mane2 blog laen...jgn cepat putus asa..n hampa...sampai nak bawak diri bagai...mane nak pegi nye pon..dunia nehkecik jek...wake up...n confront every obstacles....

xde la pandai sgt pon...sy sendiri maseh single n available (promote diri jap)......so be it....tho ade rase sedey...it'll go away eventually.....sedey bkan ape...sbb xde geng nak beronggeng n berfoya2...huhuh.....kwn2 ramai nak kawen taun neh....one by one...i'm loosing my friend....insyaAllah tdklah ilang selamenye...


okeh..i bluffed....i did story things about me..hahaha...sengal....!

kekesalan yg menyesal

okeh....sbenanye nak buat pembetulan keadaan sket...rase regret pon ade..sbb buat post sblm neh...hmmm...i was too carried away.....emosi x stabil ngan keadaan sekelling sy skang....

lack of sleep...lack of rest...lack of motivation......

lack of iman....

nauzubillah......nak marah jek hati neh lately...jealous x bertempat lak tuh....pointless kan???hmmm....i think i should seek professional advise le...huk....psychological la...bukan krn gile...

tp kan...sebenanye...Islam dah bg cara....in any situation...kembali pd Nya...insyaAllah berjaye (dgn nada adam) ...amek wudhu' etc....istighfar......solat sunat 2 rakaat......u did once...so u can do it over n over again hani...yes I can!!!!

o ye.....silly me...i miss d "attention"....gelis...hahah....aku insan biase....

define friends....pelis...

saat2 jiwe kacau neh kan...mende2 kecik pon leh jadek besar rasenye..hati sy rapuh...sy mudah jeles...JELES??? bkn kat bf okeh...i dun have any bf pon....

tp jeles kat bff....wutdaaa....hmm...beliau pernah trase hati bile sy baek dgn ex beliau..sbb kami mmg kwn dah lame..then bile r/ship diorg dah ok..of coz la die x kesah kan bile aku baek ngan bf die..but now they broke up again..n this time for real punyo...dun think they ever get back again...for sum reason yg hampeh....n i dun entertain her ex anymore...xmo shbt trase hati buat kali kedue..

yg buat sy jiwe kacau x smene2...bagaimane beliau boley sgtla rapat ngan ex sy...why????????sy tau mereke bershbt...tetapi....n nape sy ade rase mereke akan ke jinjang pelamin..this is not impossible to happen la kan...jodoh d tgn Tuhan.,....i dun feel a thing towards that man anymore...i'm so over him...cume situasi ini...sy x brape boley trime....

hmmm...abaikan jek la...sy xnk pk lagek lps bgn esok pg...

psl jodoh....nape sy asyik bertgemu ngan org yg 2 taun lebey tua dr sy...?uh....ahah....tuh pon leh jiwe kacau...ntah pape ntah...byk lagek jiwe kacau neh...tp xleh nak mention...how i longing to have sumone that i can share with....haha...jiwe kacau lagek.....tp xmo kawen....nak share2 story jek...ade tak...ade tak???

off!

jem n roti

huargh,.....bersiaran pule dr kampung halaman ibunda.....sbb aku xde kampung kan..tumpang ayahanda n bonda jek la...lame x blk perak...windu....windu lagek bile kenangkan zaman mase kecik2..mase arwah opah ade....besttttttttt

mase nak blk kg..gile jem x hengat...ngan ragam manusie yg panas2 hati lagek..xde nye nak bersopan santun kat jln raye dah..dlm hati maseng2 nak lanyak jek semua keter yg ade depan diorg......dasat2!! scary! takot pisang berbuah 3 kali.....trauma lame x ilang lagek...bile nak break dgn keter depan..sgt menakutkan...dgn muatan keter yg sgt berat lak tuh...momentum lebey la kan...

so nak jdkan story mory...betolak kol 12.30 tghari dr rumah...heading to ipoh..nak ziarah longjaja kat umah ayahanda beliau...sbb maseh berpantang..rindu baby khaira..sampai ipoh...hampir kol 5ptg....mane x gile aku jadinye...plak tuh..bawak keter bayan (mujur ade keter die...sbb keter abah belom 100% elok)....manual okeh....i dun mind bawak keter manual...masalahnye bile jem...mcm nak tercabut setiap urat kat kaki aku tuh.....sakeeettt...tp  x sampai hati nak pass baton kat abah....tgk letey jek kat wajah tua die...hmm....xpelah abah...anakmu mengerti...dgn lapar yg amat sgt..sbb bawak bekal roti jek pon...bajet 3 jam sampai ipoh....

sudahnye...lps solat asar and makan kat umah alang tuh..kami pon bertolak le ke seri iskandar...syukur..jln x jem..kalau jem gak...mmg aku bayar tow truck utk towing kitorg...gegegegege....bile stress kan..mcm2 kepale neh berpk...

last week...sy jumpe seorg insan yg sgt berhati mulia...x sangke masih ade manusie mcm neh kat muke bumi Allah....syukur....Alhamdulillah..Allah ketemukan kami dgn insan kamil ini....dlm kekalutan kami...dlm kesempitan kami....dlm kesesakan kami...n dlm kesedihan kami...insan ini sgt memahami...membuka ruang utk kami bernafas n mempertimbangkan semula gerak langkah kami.....menitis air mate aku bile mendgr kate2nye di corong telefon apabile memberi kami kelonggaran dlm membuat keputusan...kesempatan utk kami bangun semula....syukur ya Allah...Kau kirimkan kami insan ini semasa insan laen yg bertunjangkan nafsu n keinginan syaitan menyelebungi diri mereke....menganiaya idop kami dan mase depan kami...sesungguhnye Allah maha mengetahui...maha adil....smoge Allah mengadili kami dgn maha KebijaksanaanMu ya Allah....

smoge Allah merahmati insan mulia ini......bukakanlah pintu rezeki seluasnye buat beliau ya Allah...jauhkanlah kejahatan dr nye ya Allah...kurniakanlah kesihatan yg baek ke atasnye ya Allah....amin....

hot hot hot

last week..everywhere kat ceruk mane pon dlm opis neh kecoh psl penilaian prestasi done recently (but d management had postponed d date..for i-forgot-how-many-times)...lucky i wasn't involve...juz dgr2 n lihat2 ape yg berlaku...observe...n evaluate ape yg jd kat sekeliling.....

manusie...benarkah akan berlaku adil sesame manusie tanpe ade prasaan hasad, benci, iri hati, dendam n kesumat mengiringi setiap keputusan yg di ambil??krn ade kuase..sekaligus boley boley mempengaruhi bawahannye utk menilai insan bawahannye pule....do they really made d observation by all rounder...or by their naked eyes??

insan2 yg dinilai....betulke slh ape yg telah pihak penilai menilai..?hv u given d best?n u nvr done anything wrong??or they get emotional bile evaluation result kluar....sbb maybe they gave d best they can...xpenah ngular...xpenah "tai chi"...x penah itu..x penah ini....heheh...


ape yg sy lihat..ade yg trase ati etc....is it d system ke hape eh??poning betol...leh menganggugugat ketenteraman hubungan manusie ngan manusie yg laen.....

ape yg sy rase...penilai n pemarkahan yg di buat neh ade beberape kemungkinan pd akibatnye...

1. markah tinggi (scenario 1)- yes u did very well with excellent!u'd given ur best..n it shows....n yes u deserve it!

2. markah tinggi (scenario 2) - u did well..but not at ur best..u completed ur task, but not as good as ur boss want..sumtimes u don't even hv any task to do...but becoz u have d most minimum errors occurred..so d high mark given by ur boss is to motivates u to do better...

3. markah tinggi (scenario 3) - anda pandai bermaen wayang!!!ewah2.... hebat dlm tai chi..haiyak!! even tho u r half looser...still u r a smart person!!

4. markah trendah (scenario 1) - u r a total garbage!! ok....not that far... some people maybe don't hv any motivational momentum utk nak inject diri diorg...so tak sgt memberangsangkan hasil kerje...delayed...undone...asyik nak tai chi kerje(x reti nak maen wayang)...

5. markah rendah (scenario 2) - u did ur best..u manage to tackle n handle any problem n u took risk for that...akan tetapi..jeng jeng jeng.........u r just a victim of discrimination!! sorry to say but ur boss hated u!!huhu....ksian ar kalau part neh...pity...but wut can i say more...berdoa la smoge Allah beri ptunjuk kat pemangse camneh....

smoge sy diadili ngan keadilan yg sepatutnye sy terime....amin...