slightly retarded....

i remember that one friday nite...hahaha....ala2 lagu brown gal by abba....

maken gile aku neh..hardly to stay focus on my work;...a lot need to  be done within a short period of time....personal n work.....ssh nye nak separate kan.....i'm d kind yg ssh nak let go things out easily...luahkan pon actually x brape hundred persen....afraid my tears tbe2 lak kua...ngengade sungguh......

i dunno wuts happening...dulu punye kesah lebey mudah utk dilupekan mungkin sbb lgsg x bejumpe...x berhubung....but as i mentioned dolu lagek....xmo jd pemusnah hubungan rakan2...lately...aku tersedar satu pekare....aku dah mcm org ilang siuman..since aku asyik cite yopik yg same ngan rakan2.....aku da byk kali berusehe utk tdk membangketkan cite bodow tuh...apekan daye..tesembur jua pekare yg same....erghhhh...berkali marah pd diri sdiri...tp x penah dgr ckp sndiri!!!!!! hani..hani................

"try sleeping wit d broken heart"

hampe...

xtau rasenye camne nak gmbrkan prasaan neh...sume bercampo baur...all at once.....mengharapkan kwn2....ssh gak...maseng2 ade mslh maseng2....

remuk rsnye....tp ape jek yg bole aku buat ...slaen tangisan sblm tdo..letey rsnye bile bgn pg.....Allah jek yg maha mengetahui....cube kuatkan diri utk mak n org laen...tp sampai bile....nak g jauh...tp x mampu....

camne org leh rilek jek ek..??ya Allah.....ape dosa aku smpi aku d uji begini.......kalu org dgr pon...mesti kate ujian aku sket jek kan...but each time aku nak luahkan...xterluah keseluruhannye........beban...saket....dgn sape aku nak kongsi..??? aku xnk buat mende2 pelik...

cukup mak dah rase ssh sblm neh...xmo tmbhkan lagek......sronok tgk kwn2 gumbire...tumpang saje,...

kinda....

hmm....sudden question dr seorg shbt td....

die tny ape rsnye when aku dpt msg dr c bunguks on d 1st time after die da skian lame mendiamkan diri.....

a bit sympathy...since she never feels d way org laen penah rase..bersyukor gak..allah bg aku lalui mcm2..so aku tau ape rsnye

tp die xpnah....quite pity for her,,,,

heartache...

ntah kali ke berape ntah kan...aku try.....nape ssh sgt???
ke sbb ape yg aku mimpi slame neh yg buat aku ssh nak let it go....mengapekah aku diuji begini....sbb aku penah lupekan maha penciptakah???astaghfirullah al azim...

stiap kali solat aku mohon pd allah..smoge aku kuat hadapi sume neh....aku kembalikan smule ape yg aku x mampu tanggung....mase dpan yg xde penghujung.....

or maybe mase dpan aku mmg bkn utk berdue...so soon to tell.......

tatkale kwn2 hepi...so envy them...smoge mrk kekal bahgie ke akhir hayat....

amin....

sedey

strikes me again.......

agak sedey...ke aku yg emo lebey.....tatkale cube mencari rakan2 utk melepaskan prasaan yg dah mcm tuuuttt....

sume sebok...understood....sume org ade ceritera idop sdiri...stop relying org len wahai hani.....
mcm shitttt.....airmate neh nak kua gak...p la mam.....

okeh fine....i'll go my own way!!!! pegi la jahanam ngan sesape pon...org leh buat...xkan aku xleh....tp kalu aku buat..start kate x igt kwn....dah lupe kwn...sape lupe sape...maseng2 dah ade bf kannnnn.......idop la korg bedue!! bole x jgn cr aku lagek...???? tang ssh pandai cr aku..bile sng,,?? reason..?? cam stupid....

mmg korg x pandai jage ati org....so..xperlu aku blaja jage ati korg!!!

rindu.,...

woaaaa.....lame tdk memblog dri....sgt sibuk hingge xde mase utk diri sdiri...

wutd happened to my social life..???? erk...perkare yg harus ditelan setlh bekerje......

my education life..???? "hanging intention"..huhu...still bergelut dgn kompius nye lagek..aduyai..

lately...i dont know y...but seems getting so far away from Allah...astaghfirullah....knape hani jd camneh...?

maybe neh la sbb nye byk masalah aku yg xleh slesai2 lagek neh...........Allah nak uji aku.....smoge aku tabah n dipermudahkan ujian ini....

still on my he-tox mode.....ssh betol la......almost a year....tp xleh nak lpskan...wuts wrong wit me????? i should give myself a dateline instead!! br ar ade objektive dlm idop....mengapekah..oh mengapekah.......

lonely..alone...loner...

mmg x kesah idop single...wut to rush...? bknnye sok akunak kawen...tp kdg2 terdetik gak utk bermanje...euuwwww.....haha......ade skali tuh..trase sgt lonely bile nak kua..but no one was there for me....sume sebok..either wit family or their syg's...huhu....ade skali tuh jgak...lebey sadis rsnye...tatkale aku tbe sorg2 jek kat table tuh yg xde teman berckp.... "the couple" tgh berckp dgn satu same laen...d boys bedue tuh plak berborak sesame diorg...aku??? was left alone.......nxt time....i will not allow myself to be in that situation again...

kne cr sesuatu yg boleh dilakukan sdiri jgak ar....xleh rely kat org...kne biasekan diri idop bujang...nak harapkan kwn2 pon xleh.....diorg adekehidupan sdiri..sampai bile ko nak sesakkan diorg ngan merepek ko tuh hani?????

tp.......maseh trase ketidak adilan pd dri ini...mengape tegar nye ko !!! huikkkh.......tensiii!!!!

catitan..hukhuk

uwaaa......keje keje keje....

itulah idop aku skang.....i made my decision...i chose my path....deal with it hani... terganggu rencana n kehidupan sosialku...oh tdk....daku tua sblm waktuku......hukhuk.....

idop dikelilingi lelaki...tp xde sorg pon yg leh blah..hansem pon prangai cam aremmmmm.....

xpe hani...Allah lebey mengetahui susun jalur idopmu.....

listen to ur heart!!!